Ketubot 4B

הכי קאמר: וכן מי שפירסה אשתו נדה ולא בעל ⁠— הוא ישן בין האנשים, ואשתו ישנה בין הנשים.

This is what the tanna is saying: And likewise, with regard to a groom whose wife began to menstruate, and he had not yet had sex with her, he sleeps among the men, and his wife sleeps among the women. However, in the case of a mourner, even if they already had sex, he sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the women.

למימרא דאבילות קילא ליה מנדה?

The Talmud asks: Is that to say that the prohibition against sex during mourning is more lenient in his opinion than the prohibition against sex with a menstruating woman? That is apparently the case, as after engaging in the initial sex, he may enter into seclusion with his menstruating wife but not with his wife when either of them is in mourning.

והאמר רבי יצחק בר חנינא אמר רב הונא: כל מלאכות שאשה עושה לבעלה ⁠— נדה עושה לבעלה, חוץ ממזיגת הכוס והצעת המטה, והרחצת פניו ידיו ורגליו. ואלו גבי אבילות תניא: אף על פי שאמרו אין אדם רשאי לכוף את אשתו להיות כוחלת ולהיות פוקסת, באמת אמרו: מוזגת לו הכוס, ומצעת לו המטה, ומרחצת לו פניו ידיו ורגליו.

The Talmud continues: But didn’t Rav Yitzḥak bar Ḥanina say that Rav Huna said: All tasks that a woman typically performs for her husband, a menstruating woman performs for her husband, except for pouring his drink into the cup; arranging his bed; and washing his face, hands, and feet, as these actions are particularly intimate. Whereas with regard to mourning, it is taught in a baraita: Although they said that a man may not compel his mourning wife, to paint her eyes blue or to rouge [pokeset] her face, in truth they said that she may pour his drink into the cup; arrange his bed; and wash his face, hands, and feet. Apparently, the concern lest they come to have sex while in mourning is less pressing than the concern while she is menstruating.