Yevamot 63B

מן החטא. מקרי ליה רב יהודה לרב יצחק בריה ״ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה״. אמר ליה: כגון מאן? כגון אמך.

from sin. We should therefore show our gratitude to them. The Talmud cites a related incident: Rav Yehuda was teaching Torah to Rav Yitzḥak, his son, and they encountered the verse: “And I find more bitter than death the woman” (Ecclesiastes 7:26). His son said to him: For example: whom? His father replied: For example: your mother.

והא מתני ליה רב יהודה לרב יצחק בריה: אין אדם מוצא קורת רוח אלא מאשתו ראשונה, שנאמר: ״יהי מקורך ברוך ושמח מאשת נעוריך״, ואמר ליה: כגון מאן? כגון אמך! מתקיף תקיפא, ועבורי מיעברא במלה.

The Talmud asks: Didn’t Rav Yehuda teach Rav Yitzḥak, his son, the following baraita: A man finds peace of mind only with his first wife, as it is stated: “Let your fountain be blessed, and have joy from the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18), and his son said to him: For example: whom, and his father responded in this case as well: For example: your mother. This indicates that Rav Yehuda did find peace of mind with his wife. The Talmud answers: She was aggressive and forceful, but she was easily appeased.

היכי דמי אשה רעה? אמר אביי: מקשטא ליה תכא ומקשטא ליה פומא. רבא אמר: מקשטא ליה תכא ומהדרא ליה גבא.

The Talmud asks: What are the circumstances when a woman is considered a bad wife? Abaye said: She arranges a table for him and arranges her mouth for him at the same time. In other words, although she prepares food for him, she verbally abuses him while he eats. Rava said: She arranges a table for him and then turns her back to him, displaying her lack of interest in his company.

אמר רבי חמא בר חנינא: כיון שנשא אדם אשה עונותיו מתפקקין, שנאמר: ״מצא אשה מצא טוב ויפק רצון מה׳״. במערבא כי נסיב אינש איתתא, אמרי ליה הכי: ״מצא״ או ״מוצא״? ״מצא״ דכתיב: ״מצא אשה מצא טוב״, מוצא דכתיב: ״ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה״.

R' Ḥama bar Ḥanina said: Once a man marries a woman his iniquities crumble [mitpakekin], as it is stated: “Whoever finds a wife finds good, and obtains [veyafek] favor of YHWH” (Proverbs 18:22). In the West, i.e., Eretz Yisrael, when a man married a woman they would say to him as follows: Matza or motze? In other words, they would ask the groom if the appropriate passage for his wife is that verse, which begins with the word matza, as it is written: Whoever finds [matza] a wife finds good, or whether the more appropriate verse is the one beginning with the word motze, as it is written: “And I find [motze] more bitter than death the woman” (Ecclesiastes 7:26).