Moed Katan 22A

הלך גדול הבית לבית הקברות, מהו?

If the principal member of the household went with the remains of the deceased to the cemetery and did not return for several days, what is the halakha? If another mourner came to the house of mourning during his absence, does he follow the principal member of the household and count from the time of the burial, or does he count from the time that the funeral procession departed, like the other members of the household?

תא שמע, דאמר רבי חייא בר אבא אמר רבי יוחנן: אפילו הלך גדול הבית לבית הקברות ⁠— מונה עמהן. מונה עמהן? והתניא מונה לעצמו!

The Talmud answers: Come and hear that which R' Ḥiyya bar Abba said that R' Yoḥanan said: Even if the principal member of the household went to the cemetery, the mourner who comes home during his absence counts with them, i.e., the other members of the household who did not go to the cemetery. The Talmud asks: Does he really count and complete his mourning with them? But isn’t it taught otherwise in a baraita, that he counts 7 days on his own?

לא קשיא: הא דאתא בגו תלתא, והא דלא אתא בגו תלתא. כי הא דאמר להו רב לבני הצלבוני: דאתו בגו תלתא ⁠— לימנו בהדייכו, דלא אתו בגו תלתא ⁠— לימנו לנפשיהו.

The Talmud answers: This is not difficult. This statement, that he counts with them, is referring to a case where the principal member of the household came home within 3 days. And the other ruling, that he counts on his own, is referring to a case where he did not come home within 3 days. This conclusion is similar to what Rav said to the sons of Hatzleponi when they were in mourning: Those who come home within 3 days should count with you; whereas those who do not come home within 3 days should count on their own.